Hell

Life used to be simple. That's a phrase I hear a lot. It never was. As soon as we master a single skill, the monsters level up two. It's a never ending slew of win and defeat. But I do remember when I wasn't so... miserable. My problems consisted of bullying, worrying about others, and childlike carefree-ness. 

Now it's about my salvation, my belief in God, sanity, suicide, misery, and despair. When did it all go wrong? I don't want to go to hell, but I don't want to go to heaven either. 

I just want to off myself. Maybe God doesn't exist. Maybe he will take mercy on me and allow me to be a lowly coward by wiping my soul from existence. Maybe he'll take pleasure in watching me burn in the fires of hell. 

When did my life turn into a single question?